set out on an Odyssey with Great Expectations of finding Anna Karenina, whose Pride and Prejudice had led her to
refuse the offer from The Catcher In The
Rye. After checking her options at The
Foundation Trilogy she’d climbed the Dune
and was Gone With The Wind.
decided to keep her company and they hitched a ride on Revolutionary Road with Ben-Hur.
They were making Pilgrim’s Progress
while eating The Grapes of Wrath and
talking Of Mice and Men.
them thunder past in the chariot and being a girl with Sense and Sensibility, she talked to the Little Women and Little Men
about what to do next. Report Anna? Chase Anna? It seemed the Call of the Wild was upon their friend as
she fled her past mistakes.
Heights,” said The Great Gatsby. “We
could send The Three Musketeers after
House and the Mill on the Floss?
She assured me she could enjoy A Hundred
Years of Solitude there because it was Far
From the Madding Crowd, so what changed? Is it The Time of the Plague or what?”
received The Scarlet Letter from Oliver Twist, telling her A Tale of Two Cities about The Count of Monte Cristo and Tess of the D’Ubervilles having an
affair in Paris and London, under her nose.”
Dracula winked at Frankenstein and sipped his dark red
wine. “Now she’s On the Road and
going Around the World in Eighty Days apparently.”
has been Tom Jones,” said Dorrit.
“Ever since he sang in those tight pants at the Animal Farm, remember? She was on a date with The Lord of the Flies but she only had eyes for Tom.”
and everyone is Les Miserables all
right.” Don Quixote stopped jabbing at Charlotte’s
Web. “She needs a Time Machine to
return to 1984 and have a do over because The
Metamorphosis started then.”
Heidi, The Prince and the Pauper rushed into the room, all three hand in
hand. “We just read in today’s edition of The Pickwick Papers that Anna booked A Passage to India
with The Old Man and the Sea! Should
we go Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the
Sea and try to arrive before she does?”
Dick and end up with The Swiss Family
Robinson, or perhaps even Robinson
Crusoe,” Candide exclaimed. “The Idiot,
going North and South on The Good Earth, with no clear plan.”
Don Q ate a crumpet. “This is A Moveable Feast you’ve prepared for us today, Dorrit; my compliments to the chef.”
Cotillion with the Devil’s Cub.”
relax and stop being A Confederacy of
Dunces. I’ll call The Lord of the
Rings and he’ll not only find Anna, he’ll bring her to Washington Square, where Doctor
Zhivago can examine her. Then he can advise us in The Remains of the Day what we should do next.” Dracula reached
for his cell phone.
Dorrit turned to the only person who had yet to weigh in on
their friend Anna’s problems. “What do you think? Are they talking White Noise or are the vampire and Don Q
This article was originally posted on SFF Seven