This ship’s crew continually waits for the word for the chosen few to go to the surface of the planet they are orbiting. Excitement, anticipation…and disappointment over who is going down, and who isn’t.
Earth.
My parents left the planet before I was born.
I’d never seen a sunset. Put my feet in the sand. Felt the wind rush against my skin.
Simulation.
That’s all life ever was aboard the Skyrey X-9. There were a number of them around the solar system.
From when everyone just left.
I’d spent countless hours in the archival hall poring over footage of the planet, a blanket over my head at night with my nose touching my datapad. My sister yelling at me for the fourteenth time to turn it off.
For years now, they’d sent teams back to Earth.
Amazing what we humans thought we wanted to leave called back to us. Wouldn’t ever truly let us abandon it.
The lights flicker in our room. A small light placed in the center of my bunk the only source for a moment, until the others spring back on.
My chest clinches. Power outages weren’t uncommon. Yet, when the nearest ship wasn’t visible out the viewport on the main deck, you didn’t exactly want to float out in space with thousands of other people without power.
There’s a rap against the door.
“Miranda, let’s go. You said you’d meet me at my room an hour ago. I’m starving. And if I miss lunch because of you…”
I scoff, as my eyes are still absorbed in an old nature documentary.
The rap at the door continues.
“Stop being such a drama queen, Dallas.”
He didn’t let up on knocking. I’d locked it specifically knowing he’d barge right in if I didn’t.
Not that it was a bad thing but hard to watch anything with him around. He made it easy to get distracted.
Especially when the kissing started.
“Miranda?”
I pause the documentary. No way I’d finish the next ten minutes.
Leaving the datapad on my pillow and turning off my bunk light, I stand up and examine my hair in the mirror, pulling it into a quick ponytail.
Satisfied, I spin to the door and open it.
Dallas topples onto me. Nearly driving me to the floor. We stumble back several paces, bumping my parents’ bed before we come to a stop. My arms around him.
His hot breath hitting my face.
“What the hell?”
“I was leaning against the door.”
“Why would you do that?”
“I didn’t think you’d actually open the door.”
“Got that right,” I say, my lips finding his.
One of his hands remain on my side, the other dropping to my lower back.
We shouldn’t start.
“I thought you were hungry,” I say between kisses.
“Now for something else.”
I boink his forehead with my palm. “Keep dreaming, loverboy.”
“Ow,” he says, rubbing it. “What gives?”
“You’re not the only one who wants to eat.”
Absorbed in footage for hours, I could ignore such things, but now with Dallas as the only distraction, I realize just how hungry I am.
Dallas’s eyes flick to the time display on the wall. “We better hurry. Only ten minutes until they stop serving food.”
“You know that’s not true.”
“The good stuff. I don’t need some packaged gloop because you were too busy exploring the wonders of Earth,” he says, throwing his hands up.
I slap his butt and guide him out the door, swooshing closed behind us.
“Guess I need to find another travel partner.”
“C’mon, Miranda. We’re never going to do that.”
I unwrap my arm for him and step back. Stung.
He deflates. “Okay, I’m sorry. That was harsh.”
“You think?” I cross my arms and leave a little space between us.
Aside from our moments alone, making out on some corner of the ship away from my family, there is nothing I want more than to be chosen to go onto the surface.
This was the first time either of us were eligible. Our seventeenth birthdays taking place in-between the selection periods.
“We have a real shot at this, Dallas.”
He sighs. “There’s only thirty slots. Ten really, since those are the only ones for civilians.”
I shake my head. “Never tell me the odds.”
“Come here,” he says, slinking an arm around my waist. His lips find my cheek.
I soften. A little. Trying not to show it.
“You did sign up?” I ask, craning my head towards his.
“You watched me, remember?”
“Maybe you withdrew your name afterwards.”
His mouth curls into a smile. “I didn’t know that was an option.”
“It isn’t for you.”
Dallas bobs his head at one of his buddies passing by. “If Tanner took my lunch portion, you’re in trouble.”
Before I could respond, his hand was grasping my side, fingers dancing along, tickling me.
We bump into the wall, him pinning me.
“Dallas,” I say. Grimacing from the playful touch on my sides.
He stops and kisses me.
“Too bad you’re so hungry,” I whisper. “We did have a room to ourselves.”
“Don’t play with me, Miranda Tarensdale. Besides, the one time we try that, it’s going to be me explaining to your dad why we’re alone in his quarters.”
“You really don’t have a sense of adventure, do you?”
He guffaws. “We’ve done the climbing wall, obstacle course, and dive tank how many times together?”
“That’s manufactured.”
“Ah, right. Because it’s not Earth,” he says, temporarily moving his arm from me to make mocking quotes.
I slap his gut.
We enter the cafeteria. Aside from the main viewing deck, a level above us, it has one of the best views aboard. Ironically, identical to the other dining hall on the other side of the ship.
“I know you’re excited to do all this exploring, but they have everyone set up in little pockets across the surface. The majority of them aren’t off climbing mountains, sitting alongside the beach, or exploring the oceans greatest depths.”
“Anything else you want to piss on?” I ask.
“Hey, hey,” he says, embracing me. I try to pull away, but it really is impossible to not melt into his arms.
“I’m sorry, alright? I just don’t want you getting worked up about something that’s not going to happen. Even if you do get chosen.”
There was a lot to like about this boy, but I couldn’t stand him right now. Why did he want to be like everyone else and see where you could excel on the Skyrey?
It was a ship. There were only so many places you could go, in numerous respects.
“Don’t you want to see something more than just this box?”
I take a seat at a table to stake it out, though pointless when we’re one of the few people in here at the moment. Habit, I guess, during the busier times.
Dallas shrugs, leaning forward on the table. “Not really. It’s a fantasy. My life is here. Our life is here. Shouldn’t we make the most of it?”
I don’t have a response. I can’t accept this is all my life is. Yeah, this is home. But is it really? At the end of the day, it’s a bunch of metal and circuits hurtling through space.
###
I tap my stylus incessantly against my datapad. We’re supposed to work on the assignment our instructor gave us. On a normal day, I would have loved it. Diving into one of Earth’s many wars. Amazing how we continue to find ways to destroy one another.
It’s the same out here. Disputes on-board. Warring Skyreys across the cosmos. So many beautiful things about life and the places we could go, yet we seek to eradicate that.
There’s a kick against my chair.
I turn back.
Hudson Richardson. I blush briefly. We had a brief fling a few years back. If anything, he’d gotten more attractive, but he was no Dallas.
“Cut it out, Tarensdale. You’re making me nervous.”
“Sorry, I’m—”
He scoffs. “Excited for The Decision? We may have broken up, but your dream of leaving here hasn’t changed.”
Wow. Maybe he actually had cared.
“How moronic.”
Never mind. Paid attention. Didn’t give a rat’s, though.
Hudson shifts in his seat. “I’d let you go. Why not if you want to go so bad? Then the rest of us don’t have to hear it.”
I sneer. “Feeling’s mutual. It’d be nice to get away from you, too.”
“Can’t believe Dallas puts up with it.”
Yeah, totally remembered why we were done. One of the biggest asses I knew on this ship.
I went back to tapping my datapad.
He groans behind me.
Few moments later, the instructor walks to my desk and snags the stylus from my fingers. “That’s. Enough.” she says, in a measured, stern voice. “You may collect this after class.”
I don’t say a word. Arguing risks staying after class. Which then involves missing The Decision. Today wasn’t when I found out if they honor their selection for someone who isn’t present because they received detention.
I wasn’t about to risk them picking another name. Someone sitting in front of them. Ready to get off this blasted ship. Unlike my ex or my current boyfriend. Who seem fine keeping each other company the rest of their days.
I have no interest in receiving a career, marrying, having kids, and getting old on this ship. Not when there’s a planet we left ready to accept its inhabitants. Have us explore its deepest caverns. Highest peaks. Grassy plains. Hidden crevices.
The equivalent here is an abandoned service closet. Not quite the same.
“Hmph,” the instructor said, giving me one final look before strolling to her desk. Tapping the stylus against her palm.
Hudson’s desk behind me shifts and then hot breath is hitting my neck. “Thank God,” he says.
I’m about to slug him in the face. That’d ensure I stay locked up here. Rumor had it the slightest blemish threw you out of consideration. Sending someone prone to fights was asking for trouble.
Dooming a mission to Earth from the beginning.
Giving the jerk a bloody nose would give me no greater satisfaction, but it wasn’t worth jeopardizing my ticket out of here.
Though it feels like eternity, the bell does ring, and I don’t think I’ve ever jumped out of my seat so fast. The kids who raced out of class on the final day of our terms had nothing on me.
With my bag slung over my shoulder and turning to run out of the room, I hit something solid. I’m falling.
Sharp pain goes through my wrists as they break my fall. Laughter surrounding me.
I’m not that clumsy.
I look back to see Hudson’s leg retracting.
“Whoops.”
“You’re the worst.”
Hudson shrugs.
I wonder if I’d manage to convince Dallas to punch ‘em. He didn’t care about getting out of here. It was the least he could do.
“Someone should wire a camera to her. We can watch her tumble down a mountain when she makes it to the surface.”
The comment was met with further laughter.
“Alright, alright,” our instructor says. “That’s enough. Miss Tarensdale, if you’d like your stylus, come get it.”
Hudson gives me an inviting look. I’m not about to go back that way. It’s not worth it anyway. I want a good seat in the café for The Decision.
I sprint for the café, out of breath when I arrive. Panting. I was far from the first one there. Everyone wanted a good spot. To my surprise though, my boyfriend is at our usual table. I walk over to him.
“Hey,” he says, spotting me. A mouthful of food.
“What are you doing here? I thought you didn’t care about this.”
Dallas wraps his arm around me. Licking the fingers of his other hand. “I don’t. They offer the best meal today and I wanted a chance for seconds before it got totally cleared out.”
I rolled my eyes.
My boyfriend stares at me. Dumbfounded. “You aren’t going to eat?”
“No,” I say. As if it’s totally obvious.
I’d throw up whatever I ate. My stomach churning like a load of laundry in one of the dryer units.
“Are you sure?” He asks, concern etching his face. “I’ll go get you something.”
I kiss his cheek. “I wouldn’t want to interrupt your meal.”
“You’re sweet. Just like this cobbler.”
I punch his arm.
He grins.
Screens drop from the ceiling. The lights dim.
“The Decisions will be made shortly. Please refrain from talking while the presentation is made.”
“You’re drooling,” Dallas says.
I wipe at my mouth. Swiping a few times. “Am not.” Dallas grabs my leg and squeezes.
Suddenly, hands are on my shoulders, massaging them. How’d Dallas manage that?
I turn to my left and he’s still sitting there.
Dipping my neck back. I see my Mom.
“Hi, Miranda,” my sister says.
“What are you all doing here?”
Dad pulls off his glasses and wipes them with his shirt. “You’re not the only one who comes to Decision Day, Miranda.”
“Yeah,” my sister jeers.
Through gritted teeth, I say, “Please tell me you’re sitting over there.”
Dallas grabs my hand. “They can sit here.”
I observe the room. Seats were filling up, but they could sit elsewhere. Clear across the café if I got a say in it.
Mom is continuing to massage my shoulders. I sink and could fall asleep if she keeps this up. “It’s fine. We’ll go sit with the Hansons.”
My sister’s jaw drops. “Why do we have to do that?”
“We’re giving Miranda space.”
Pulling her arm, my sister says, “They’re going to kiss if we leave them alone.”
Mom gives me a squeeze and says. “Miranda and Dallas are responsible.”
I gulp and slump. Not daring to look at either my parents or sister.
“Right,” my sister says. “Might as well let them go to our quarters with that attitude.”
I take a deep breath as they migrate to another table.
“Good evening.” Conversations cease. Kids quiet. Lights dim further. Earth’s leader, Sandra Zanhail, overtook the display screens around the room.
“Like past Decision Days, we have decided on those of you who will join our community here as we rebuild what was lost. Decisions are final. You will not argue. The choice is the choice. Those of you selected have forty-eight hours to pack your things and say your goodbyes. The rest of you will continue your lives aboard Skyrey X-9. If you’re not chosen today, perhaps next time.”
She pauses. Dallas swallows. I swore you could hear it throughout the room.
“As our community grows and our work to restore Earth progresses, overtime, many more of you will join us. But for now, we can only take a select few of you.”
I wasn’t waiting until my hair grayed and I struggled to get around.
Sandra began reading names. Applause breaking out for many of them. Some young. Some old. Many of the names I’d heard of. Others not. The expectation is they were the brightest or greatest in their respective skillset. In the case of those not yet assigned to the Skyrey workforce, they showed the most potential.
Dallas wraps an arm around and pulls me close. “You’re shaking,” he whispers.
I’d broken out in a cold sweat. My heart ramming against my chest. Dallas rubs my arm slowly, my head resting against his chest, yet angled so I could still see the screen.
Sandra continues reading through her list. My name hasn’t left her lips yet. Each one she says extinguishes my hope to leave this ship, though that flame is not entirely snuffed out until she gets to the end.
“Dallas Montgomery.”
My breath catches in my throat. A few quiet whoops pop up around the room. I thought one was my father.
“Miranda’s Dallas?”
My sister. Geez. No other Dallases aboard.
Mom shushes her.
I felt my boyfriend stiffen.
Sandra isn’t done yet, but I stop listening. Maybe my name was mentioned. I don’t have a clue. If so, I’m sure someone will fill me in.
I lift my head from Dallas’s chest. He stares at the screen.
“Dallas?”
“Not now.” He doesn’t look at me.
“We thank you all,” Sandra says. “For taking the time from your day to hear our decision. Those of you selected, congratulations. It is a huge honor to be selected to join us. Further instructions will be sent to you, including the departure time of your shuttle to the surface.”
This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t.
“The rest of you, this isn’t your moment. Each of you are bright, special, strong in your own unique way and provide an invaluable skill set to us. Please continue to grow our bright future aboard the Skyrey X-9. You’re helping us in more ways than you know.”
What a load of —
“Selectees, rest up. Spend some time with your loved ones. We’ll see you soon.”
The screen went blank. Emergency lights running along the wall were the only source of light, aside from the flicker of stars shining in the distance.
“Dallas.”
He let go of me and got to his feet.
“Where are you going?”
“I — I need to be alone for a bit.”
A knife cuts through my chest, digging into my heart. Pain shooting through me.
Alone.
How can he do that now? In two days, I truly will be, and he’s speeding it up.
The kid who mocked the planet and the whole operation occurring on Earth, is the one who got selected.
Boyfriend or not, unbelievable.
###
I knock on Dallas’s door. Several times.
Loudly.
I retract my fist when it clicks in my brain that this isn’t his private room. His parents could be in there, too. Or only them.
The door slides open. A stern face worn by an older Dallas, but with a few more wrinkles etched into his face and gray sprinkled through his dark hair.
“Hi, Miranda. Dallas isn’t here,” he says, as I maneuver my head around his to try to get a peek into the room.
“Oh,” I say, deflating. “Do you know when he’ll be back? I really need to speak with him.”
“I’m not sure. He has much to prepare for.”
“Will you let him know I’ve stopped by?”
That message never tended to get passed along in the past, when there was nothing to worry about if he didn’t get it. Now, I might never see him again.
Dallas leaving from this ship without saying goodbye is something I’d never allow.
“Any idea where he is?”
“Good night, Miranda.”
“Good night to you too,” I mutter. The door closes in my face.
I’d sent a message earlier to his comm unit, but got no response.
Figures.
I almost call it a night and trust he’ll come find me when he can.
I’m in no rush to return to the company of my sister or my parents for that matter. Them asking how I feel about this whole thing can wait. Having time to air that out with Dallas is necessary before I want to talk about it with them.
I slip into the library, having no other way I can think to kill some time, hoping for a message from Dallas.
To my surprise, he’s sitting at my usual nook, focusing on the screen at a station in front of him.
He doesn’t look up. Eyes focused on the screen. Earbuds in. Though there isn’t anyone here. Smart of him. The librarian makes her way from her desk to instill a stern warning or if it occurs too often, mutes your device. Not only that, your entire account. Forcing you to come back later. When and if she chooses to unlock it.
I sit down next to Dallas and lean my head on his shoulder. His muscles tensing, startling him.
Then he relaxes, hugging me.
My eyes flit to the screen. It’s of Earth.
We sit there a little longer. Watching what was with the hope of what can be again.
The narrator’s voice and the image fades away. Dallas slips off his buds and places them in a case.
“Hey,” I say.
“Hey.”
His eyes are bloodshot. Has he been here since the announcements?
“How—“
Dallas cuts me off. “Not here.”
Where else? It’s late.
Though that means the ship is ours. Long as we are quiet.
He takes my hand. Grip firm and we find our way to where the announcement was made.
Instead of taking a seat, we go over to one of the large viewing panels. Looking out to the stars. The largest object currently out there, the planet my boyfriend will get to return to.
We just look for a time.
Dream.
“I asked them if you could take my spot,” he finally says.
Tears begin to well up. Of course he did.
“They said no. Selections were final. They needed me.”
He took a deep breath.
“I tried. I’d let you replace me. Come with me. It didn’t matter.”
Pain shot through me. Not only was he going away, but I had to wait.
He didn’t get to come back and visit. There also wasn’t an option for me to visit him on the surface.
“Prisoners used to get conjugal visits.”
My eyebrows raise. “Where are you going with this, Dallas?”
He rubbed my back for a moment and lowered his hand.
“We aren’t prisoners, I figure there has to be some perk.”
I hit his butt.
The perk was where he got to be. What he got to do.
I look up at him. “When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow night.”
I take a sharp breath. This is all too soon.
While I’m ecstatic for him, I’m also extremely jealous. A big part of me doesn’t want him to go, though.
These words don’t leave my mouth because what did I expect if I was chosen? Was I naïve enough to think he’d get to come, too?
“I can’t go,” he says, his arm around my side.
“Of course you’re going.”
“They can’t make me.”
I laugh nervously. “Well, I think they can.”
It wasn’t publicized what happens to those who don’t voluntarily go. Whether they were locked up here or somewhere on the surface. I know I’d never seen those few again, maybe eventually deciding to accept the opportunity they received.
He kisses my cheek. “I can’t leave you. Or my family.”
I can’t hold back the tears. They come.
Dallas fully enwraps me as the tears flow and I cry into his shoulder. He softly rubs my back.
Eventually, the tears stop. He continues to hold me.
My parents would laugh. It’s not like we’d stay together forever, they’d say. Now they’re proved right. We’d never know.
“You better not fall for the first researcher you lay eyes on,” I say.
“I was thinking the attendant on the ship.”
I humph.
“You’ll get to come soon,” he says. “I know it.”
Here I think I’m crying again as a tear runs along my cheek but I realize they’re from Dallas.
I bunch up his shirt in my fingers. “Keep telling yourself that.”
“The girl who thought this was her window to go, and you’re telling me not to believe that? Please.”
A shrill beep cuts through the silence. We let go of each other and Dallas pulls his comm from his pocket.
“Parents.”
He thrusts it back in and swipes at his hair.
We kiss each other.
Hard.
If only we could freeze this moment in time since soon we’d wake up from this fantasy we’d had aboard the Skyrey. Dallas gone and myself, stuck here. With no one.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says.
“Ok.”
“Walk you back to your room?”
I shake my head. “I want to stay here for a while.” Gesturing at Earth.
He nods. “Good night, Miranda.”
“Good night.”
I watch him leave and continue down the hallway until the doors slide shut. Obstructing my view.
Taking a deep breath, I turn away, focusing on what’s out there. Dwelling on a possible future. Of what’s so far out of reach and that which is slipping from my grasp.
I lean my head against the cool panel, continuing to stare out at the blip of a planet.
It isn’t my turn.
END
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