Ages ago (too many ages ago), I used to make various statements regarding science fiction’s place in the world as a way to demonstrate my commitment to and deep love of the genre. Among such statements were speculations as to how I would realize that commitment should I happen to find myself in a position of influence and power. Such as being elected Emperor of the Galaxy, or even likelier, Emperor of the Earth. (Yes. Read that carefully. It is FAR likelier that I would be elected Earth’s Emperor than Emperor of the Galaxy, which is itself far likelier than being appointed Grand Poobah of the Universe. Yet hope remains.)
Should any of those things happen (remember, the probability is some value greater than zero), I would strive to be a benevolent dictator, my decisions largely ruled by a deep empathy for those less privileged than myself (while recognizing, of course, the necessity of maintaining myself in power). But there are some ways in which I would impose my will upon the population, and one of them would be by mandating the mandatory reading and study of science fiction on a daily basis. (This of course would require me to implement an empire wide requirement for 100% literacy, as well as funding the research and development of whatever tools would be needed to support that goal.)
In furtherance of that Mandate, I’d create an office of Reading Compliance, staffed by millions of former teachers (who would finally be getting paid appropriately) (and following a rigorous vetting process), whose task it was to insure that the citizenry completed their daily mandatory reading, and would have powers of enforcement. A new set of courts would be required as well to fairly adjudicate charges brought against non-readers and other related crimes (such as uttering the name “Sci Fi” in public).
Punishment would, of course involve a period of confinement, during which the offender would receive re-education in the joys of reading, the import of science fiction. Evaluations would be performed (new jobs for sociologists and psychologists!) to determine if there were any disabilities (mental, physical, psychological) that needed to be addressed and applicable, empowering measures would be applied.
The support network required to hire, train and logistically support RCOs (Reading Compliance Officers) who need to check in and report on every individual citizen on a daily basis would be a monumental undertaking, staggering in its size and diverse requirements (not to mention the establishment of the Office of Reading Compliance Internal Affairs – tasked with insuring that RCOs do not abuse their powers), but do-able, especially if use is appropriately made of available AI tools. (An R&D branch would be funded as well that would develop and improve such tools.)
There’d also have to be a militarized, uniformed branch of the Office of Reading Compliance (The O.R.C.) for dealing with those unfortunates who mistakenly believe that defying my will would be some kind of statement in favor of “Freedumbs” or revelatory of their own dumb insolence. Such individuals would be arrested compassionately – even in cases of resistance – and confined to protect the rest of society from the influence of alternative facts.
One large branch of the O.R.C.’s Uniformed Services would be the investigation and ferreting out of those who seek to use Science Fiction for personal gain that falls outside of approved and licensed activities. Obviously the writing and reading of Science Fiction are on the approved list, as are a variety of associated and supportive activities, such as editing, publishing, research, the formation of clubs and conventions, cosplay as SF characters and subjects, filking, art, etc.. Two rather large branches of O.R.C.’s Prohibited Financial Activities Division (colloquially the Anti-Fuggheads Squad) would be those that chase down commercially oriented conventions and those that monitor other media’s compliance, such as violating the No 3Rs Rule – No Re-makes, Re-imaginings, Re-dos – as well as enforcing the laws against violating an original author’s creative intent, including a failure to extend the majority of creative control of a project to the original author or their representatives, approved script adapters.)
You will note that out of compassion comes near universal employment.
But of course no one, not my hand-picked Senators, Congresspeople, Govenors, Cabinet members, not the citizenry, is going to sit still to read all of the new rules and regulations that are required to effectively and efficiently implement this plan (irony, that), so a simplified method, one easily understood by everyone, is needed to assist and support compliance.
That is where the Genre Doomsday Clock comes in.
For those unfortunates who are not currently genre readers and likely not familiar with the Doomsday Clock: its a device for visually relaying how close our species is to nuclear Armageddon that takes the form of an analog clock. The closer the minute hand is to Midnight, the closer we are to immolating ourselves and the planet.
The Genre Doomsday Clock also uses an analog clock face to spread its message, but does so in reverse: the closer the minute hand is to Midnight, the closer we are to universal genre penetration of our arts and sciences. In other words, when the Genre Doomsday Clock reaches midnight, everyone in the Empire has become a Science Fiction Fan of the Literary Variety!
And not just any old Fan of the literature. An enthusiastic, nay, fanatical, well-versed, informed, and engaged fan. Suitable for consideration for a government position and other rewards commensurate with their merits, such as a government subsidized personal book purchasing stipend (or tax break, haven’t decided on that yet). Especially recognized individuals might also receive subsidized bookcases, reading vacations to exotic locales (but not too exotic since we don’t want to distract from the reading). A special ribbon for their Citizen’s Universal Name Tag. Advancement to the Empire’s Guest of Honor Roll.
The goal of society and therefore every individual member of that society, is to strive for the day when everything, everywhere is, all at once, science fiction.
In order to help everyone become familiar with the way in which the Genre Doomsday Clock works, here are some examples:
The AI generated list of the Top 100 Television Shows of All Time below would have its hands placed at the 5th hour, 15 minutes and 36 seconds, or 18 hours, 43 minutes and some seconds before Midnight. Why? Because the list contains 22 genre properties out of that 100, or 22%. The same percentage of a 24 hour time span would translate to 316 minutes and 48 seconds, and 316 minutes and 48 seconds before Midnight of that 24 hour period works out to 5 hours, 15 minutes and 36 seconds.
(A brief note on “Genre-Adjacent” properties. Fans adopt many things as objects of interest that are not strictly genre in nature, but do enjoy a wide appeal among Fans owing to invoking many of the same feelings and interests as genre works do. To determine if something is legally Genre-Adjacent, please see Empire Circular BID2001-1926. Note that this circular is regularly updated by the Office of Approved Fan Interests, and also note that updates only include new additions and never removals. Once Genre-Adjacent, a property remains so until the heat death of the universe, although there is nuance here, so please make sure you are reading the latest update and read it thoroughly. We’re pretty sure you don’t want an O.R.C. knocking on your door because you ‘thought’ something was Genre-Adjacent when it isn’t. And do please remember that compliance with all Empire dictates is universally required.)
(Genre and Genre-Adjacent denoted with an asterisk.)
- Breaking Bad: Drama/Crime Thriller
- Game of Thrones: Fantasy Drama*
- The Wire: Crime Drama
- The Sopranos: Crime Drama
- Chernobyl: Drama (miniseries)
- Band of Brothers: War Drama (miniseries)
- Avatar: The Last Airbender: Animated Fantasy/Action-Adventure*
- Planet Earth II: Documentary
- Planet Earth: Documentary
- The Twilight Zone: Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Anthology*
- Our Planet: Documentary
- The World at War: Documentary
- Blue Planet II: Documentary
- Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey: Documentary*
- Cosmos: Documentary*
- Friends: Sitcom/Comedy
- Seinfeld: Sitcom/Comedy
- The Office (US): Sitcom/Mockumentary
- Rick and Morty: Animated Sitcom/Sci-Fi*
- Better Call Saul: Crime Drama
- Stranger Things: Sci-Fi Horror/Drama*
- The Mandalorian: Sci-Fi/Action-Adventure*
- The Simpsons: Animated Sitcom
- Black Mirror: Sci-Fi/Anthology*
- The X-Files: Sci-Fi/Mystery*
- Six Feet Under: Drama/Tragicomedy
- Mad Men: Period Drama
- Arrested Development: Sitcom/Comedy
- Parks and Recreation: Sitcom/Mockumentary
- Saturday Night Live: Sketch Comedy/Variety
- All in the Family: Sitcom/Comedy
- The Mary Tyler Moore Show: Sitcom/Comedy
- Cheers: Sitcom/Comedy
- ER: Medical Drama
- Lost: Sci-Fi/Drama*
- House: Medical Drama
- The Big Bang Theory: Sitcom/Comedy
- Downton Abbey: Period Drama
- Twin Peaks: Mystery/Drama
- Dexter: Crime Drama/Thriller
- The Walking Dead: Horror/Drama*
- The Good Place: Comedy/Fantasy*
- Mr. Robot: Thriller/Drama
- Oz: Prison Drama
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Supernatural Drama/Action-Adventure*
- How I Met Your Mother: Sitcom/Comedy
- True Detective: Crime Drama/Anthology
- Peaky Blinders: Crime Drama
- The Last of Us: Drama/Action-Adventure
- Squid Game: Thriller/Drama*
- Attack on Titan: Anime/Fantasy/Action*
- Vikings: Historical Drama/Action-Adventure
- The Witcher: Fantasy Drama/Action-Adventure*
- Money Heist: Crime Drama/Thriller
- Narcos: Crime Drama/Biographical
- Homeland: Spy Drama/Thriller
- 24: Action/Thriller
- American Crime Story: Crime Drama/Anthology
- Daredevil: Superhero/Action-Adventure*
- Prison Break: Action/Thriller
- The Boys: Superhero/Action-Adventure*
- The Handmaid’s Tale: Dystopian Drama
- Boardwalk Empire: Period Drama/Crime
- The Shield: Crime Drama
- Fargo: Crime Drama/Black Comedy/Anthology
- Battlestar Galactica (2004): Sci-Fi Drama*
- Star Trek: The Original Series: Sci-Fi/Adventure
- The Wire: Crime Drama
- Mad Men: Period Drama
- The Sopranos: Crime Drama
- The Wonder Years: Coming-of-age Comedy-Drama
- House of Cards: Political Drama/Thriller
- Twin Peaks: Mystery/Supernatural*
- Star Trek: The Next Generation: Sci-Fi/Adventure*
- My So-Called Life: Teen Drama
- Law & Order: Crime Drama/Legal Drama
- Orange Is the New Black: Comedy-Drama
- The Honeymooners: Sitcom/Comedy
- NYPD Blue: Police Procedural/Drama
- The Americans: Period Drama/Thriller
- Columbo: Detective/Mystery
- The Rockford Files: Detective/Mystery
- Taxi: Sitcom/Comedy
- The Colbert Report: Late-night Talk/Political Satire
- The Bob Newhart Show: Sitcom/Comedy
- The Muppet Show: Variety/Musical
- Six Feet Under: Drama/Tragicomedy
- Fawlty Towers: Sitcom/Comedy
- Hill Street Blues: Police Procedural/Drama
- Roots: Drama (miniseries)
- Beavis and Butt-Head: Animated Sitcom/Comedy
- Your Show of Shows: Variety/Sketch Comedy
- Sex and the City: Comedy-Drama
- Chappelle’s Show: Sketch Comedy
- Happy Days: Sitcom/Comedy
- The Odd Couple: Sitcom/Comedy
- The State: Sketch Comedy
- The Ed Sullivan Show: Variety
- Roseanne: Sitcom/Comedy
- Mr. Show with Bob and David: Sketch Comedy
Here’s the clock:
On the other hand, this list of Top Ten Films from 2018 according to Box Office Mojo is much closer:
Black Panther*
Avengers: Infinity War*
Incredibles 2*
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom*
Deadpool 2*
The Grinch
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle*
Mission Impossible – Fallout*
Ant-Man and the Wasp*
Solo: A Star Wars Story*
Coming in at 90%. Ninety percent of a 24 hour period is 1,296 minutes or 21 hours and 36 minutes or 2 hours and 24 minutes before Genre Doomsday Midnight.
And weren’t things a whole heck of a lot better back in 2018, or, well, at least a little better?
That’s debatable, but I can assure you, it WILL be better under my regime, because I say so.
Steve Davidson is the publisher of Amazing Stories.
Steve has been a passionate fan of science fiction since the mid-60s, before he even knew what it was called.
