Douglas Kolacki began writing while stationed with the Navy in Naples, Italy. Returning to civilian life in San Diego, he underwent a long writing apprenticeship placing stories in various indie publications, breaking into the revived Weird Tales in 2007. Since then his fiction has appeared in Amazing Stories, Liquid Imagination Online, The Colored Lens, The Lorelei Signal and others. His short story “Gynoid Angels of the Convergence” is currently out in The Worlds Within, and others are set to appear this year in DreamForge and Bullet Points. He currently lives in Providence, Rhode Island, around the corner from H.P. Lovecraft’s birthplace.
If you had to choose between being a mermaid or a dragon, which would you pick and why?
I would be a merman, especially if I could grow legs like Hans Christian Andersen’s Little Mermaid (though I wouldn’t want to lose my voice). That way I could meet a nice girl, or even a princess. It’s better to be loved than feared.
If you could time travel to any point in history, which era would you choose, and why?
The 1960s, to live the whole decade. That way I could:
–Watch The Twilight Zone when it first airs
–See the Beatles in Liverpool, before all the craziness starts
–Prevent JFK’s assassination, which may also prevent our involvement in Vietnam
–Do whatever I can to help the passage of the 1964 Civil Rights bill
–Watch Star Trek when it first airs
–Be a Freedom Rider
–Prevent Dr. King’s assassination
–See Pink Floyd with Syd Barrett at the UFO Club
—Not wear the “Sock It To Me” tee shirt that got me repeatedly punched in the arm as a kid the one day I wore it
–Talk the Beatles out of breaking up.
If you could swap lives with any character from one of your books for a day, who would it be and what would you do?
I would swap places with the pirate captain of the stolen Confederate blockade runner, scoring as much loot as I could to bring back home with me.
If you were to write a story featuring yourself as the main character, what kind of adventure would you embark on?
See above question. My pirate ship would not only sail the seas, but up through time from the past to the future. First we would raid a Spanish manila galleon, then score some Confederate cotton to sell for ourselves, then intercept theTitanicwith a warning for them to slow down and watch for ice, asking only a modest fee in return. Then we would team up with sub-hunter Ernest Hemingway, searching for Nazi U-boats to blow out of the waters off Cuba.
If you had to choose between being a time traveler or a space explorer, which would you pick and why?
Space explorer. I’ve read that the beauty seen by astronauts is truly awesome; one spacewalker wondered how he would get any work done with all the beauty distracting him. Plus we already know all about the past, recording and studying it. Most of space is new, unknown and waiting to be discovered.
If you could have any sci-fi gadget in real life, what would it be and what practical uses would you have for it?
The mechanical hound fromFahrenheit 451.It would run errands, watch over my residence, and answer the door when anyone unwanted comes knocking.
If aliens were to visit Earth, what do you think their first impression of humans would be?
That depends. If they landed in a desert or a landfill, they wouldn’t be too impressed. But if they saw the Taj Mahal or the Vatican, they would be awed and might envy our creativity.
What Pre-1960s SF television show or movie would you like to see get a big-budget remake, and why?
Tales of Tomorrow,because it’s from the Golden Age of Television and cleared the way for anthology shows like Twilight Zone and Outer Limits. Actors like James Dean, Paul Newman and Boris Karloff appeared in it. There was even an episode about a giant spider, staged on live TV! Such a classic deserves a 21st-century update.
What off-beat location would you like to see host a convention, and why?
St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome. It’s an amazing indoor universe dedicated to the supernatural.
If you could transport yourself to any fictional universe you’ve seen in a book you liked, which universe would you go to?
It would have to be Middle Earth.
If you could transport yourself to any fictional universe you’ve seen in a television show or movie, which universe would you go to?
The Land of Oz, where the Cowardly Lion has his panic attack when faced with the Great and Powerful Wizard, running back up the hallway and taking that flying leap out the door! Every time we saw that on TV as kids, it made us howl.
Which trope of science fiction (phasers, transporters, time machines, much more) would you like to see put into our ownreality? And how would you use it in a mundane way?
The Weather Service fromBack To The Future Part II.I would use it to see that we get regular snowfalls and a White Christmas each and every winter.
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My alternate history novel Scourge 1862 is available on Amazon. It interweaves historical fact and fiction as the Confederacy is threatened by a massive floating nation armed with weaponry more advanced than America’s. Its ruler wants the South’s cotton for himself. President Lincoln could welcome this as a cessation of hostilities…but he has an oath to defend the entire Union. And he takes this oath seriously.
