For those of you who have been in science fiction fandom for a loooooong time, we present a tale for the ages, or the aged, as the case may be. The names are real, but the fan activities have been slightly fudged to protect the terminally fannish. We present for your edification, or perhaps some puzzlement…
“The last installment of my series on Americans moving away from organized religion was about the sense of community as the one inarguably positive attribute of mainstream houses of worship that can be tough to replicate in the secular world. After that story ran, I heard from readers about ways they’ve been able to form close bonds after they’d stopped attending services… Some readers mentioned fandom as a bonding mechanism…”
–Jessica Gross, “The Church of Group Fitness,” The New York Times, July 26, 2023.
Were the Bad Times finally coming to an end, or at least lessening? Brother Moskowitz could not be sure. There were certain encouraging signs that pointed to an upswing in the health of the planet, and a rebirth of civilization. But life continued hard for the few million people scattered around the globe who had survived the Collapse. However, Brother Moskowitz knew one thing for certain: there would have been many fewer survivors, and life would have been infinitely harder for them, if the First Church of Fandom had not existed.
This line of meditative thoughts occurred to Brother Moskowitz as he stood in the gently swaying, iron-bamboo sentry tower lifted high atop the palisade, crafted of the same hybrid plant that surrounded the Monastery of Saint Gerrim.
The legend of Saint Gerrim, which, like all information from before the Collapse, had come down the centuries in fragmentary and confusing form, and revolved around that holy personage’s vast powers of invention, allied with equally large tendencies to procrastinate. And so, to honor their historo-mythical patron, the brothers of his order were apt to slide off from vigilance or labor into idle musings at the drop of a quill pen.
Brother Moskowitz had been assigned the task of watching for the arrival of the wagon train from the Nunnery of Saint T’lore. Just five or six decades past, his sentry duties would have been to monitor the surroundings for savage beasts and even more-savage human marauders, and he would have been equipped with a fearsome crossbow. But there had not been a raid on the monastery in fifteen years—one of the hopeful signs of progress—and so Brother Moskowitz was equipped with nothing more than a large succulent purple plum-apple and his copy of the omnipresent Fandom Missal. He had been studying the prescribed rituals for Septumbre Eighth, the holy day dedicated to the first appearance of Kirken’s Pock nearly one millennium ago. A Two-in-One being from the stars, half ultra-rational, half ultra-emotional, Kirken’s Pock had, according to fable, launched the very notion of modern Fandom, and so their day was an important one in the liturgical year.
Having refreshed his memory with as much of the many chants and prostrations as he could, Brother Moskowitz closed the crudely printed missal, but not before pausing at the frontispiece, which exhibited in illuminated calligraphy the simple, essential credo of the First Church of Fandom, under a drawing of a beaming, homely Saint Ackerman, Defender Against Monsters and Fan Number One, the first among equals in the hagiography of the Church.
FAITHFUL FANS SHALL ABOVE ALL VENERATE THEIR CHOSEN HOLY FRANCHISE UNSTINTINGLY, DEFENDING IT AGAINST ALL DETRACTORS
FAITHFUL FANS SHALL MASTER ALL THE ARCANA OF THEIR CHOSEN HOLY FRANCHISE, EVEN UNTO THE SMALLEST OF TRIVIA
FAITHFUL FANS MAY PROSELYTIZE AND SEEK TO CONVERT UNBELIEVERS, BUT SHALL NOT DENIGRATE OR DISPARAGE THE FANS OF OTHER HOLY FRANCHISES
FAITHFUL FANS WILL HONOR THE SAINT OF THEIR CHOSEN HOLY FRANCHISE BY EMULATION OF THE SAINT’S VIRTUES AND TALENTS AND MYSTERIES, WHILST AFFIRMING THAT ALL SAINTS EXIST ON THE SAME HIGH PLANE
FAITHFUL FANS WILL SUPPORT AND AID ALL OTHER FANS, TREATING THOSE OF THEIR SHARED HOLY FRANCHISE AS BROTHERS AND SISTERS, AND THOSE OF AFFILIATED HOLY FRANCHISES AS THEIR HONORED COUSINS, SEEKING ALWAYS TO STAVE OFF THE DAY OF ULTIMATE PERIL THAT BRINGS THE WORST EPISODE EVER
And there, thought Brother Moskowitz, neither for the first nor last time, one had in a nutshell the virtues of the Church that had led it to survive and prosper amidst chaos, destruction, and death: solidarity, dedication, knowledge-seeking, comity, passion, painstakingness, and diligence.
When, during the grim days of the Collapse, the un-Churched were foundering and thrashing about in a war of all against all, the acolytes of the First Church of Fandom, that glorious institution hardly yet framed nor fully born, were working together with a clear vision of what must be protected and preserved. These loyal and inventive sodalities, organized around veneration of their various idols, extended the sheltering shield of their beliefs to enclose their small communities against the harsh world outside their gates. Whether the fans had been followers of Beansay or B’lon Five; Kaypoppers or Dedders; partisans of Mc’Uer or Lukenleah; Gerrim or T’lore; Wall Terwite or Batch Loretta; Dolly Parts or Dizzy Knees; or any of a hundred other Holy Franchises, they had all shared the same attitudes and practices conducive to survival. And then after amalgamating under the unified banner of the First Church of Fandom, their powers had been magnified and synergized until in this era, the Church was the one and only global institution of any importance or might.
As Saint Ackerman himself had put it, “Having amassed such a collection, I had no fear of inviting strangers into my house.”
Brother Moskowitz capped his thoughts by inscribing with his fingertip the Sign of Ackerman on his brow: the letter “E” repeated four times.
Suddenly, a distant shout shifted his focus to the landscape beyond the monastery: a somewhat sere vista of sand and scrub, and many contorted middling-sized trees adapted to the parched realm of the Na’lantic seaboard.
“Hola, Saint Gerrim’s! The delegation from Saint T’lore’s approaches!”
The formerly deserted dirt road that emerged from a copious thicket of mesquite soon hosted four covered wagons, each yoked to a shuffling pair of giant Gila monsters some eighteen hands high at their shoulders. The canvas of the wagons bore the icon of Saint T’lore: a golden cardigan sweater.
Brother Moskowitz rang the alarm bell, then practically slid down the ladder from his tower, eager to greet the arrivals. Visitors to the monastery were rare enough, even in these flourishing times. But a passel of female fans was rarer still, and most welcome.
The bulk of the monastery’s inhabitants were already streaming toward the iron-bamboo gates, which soon swung wide to accommodate the newcomers. In moments, introductions were being made. “Sister Trimble, Sister Morojo, Sister Tiptree, Sister Russ, Sister Swiff, Sister Ursula…” Brother Moskowitz’s head was spinning.
While the lesser acolytes mingled happily—some of the Sisters had impulsively burst into song—the head of the monastery, Brother Tucker, quickly entered into a hushed side conference with the T’lore leader, Sister Speller. Even while getting the gossip from down south and enjoying a draught of the special liquor distilled at the T’lore Nunnery, Brother Moskowitz noted the solemnity of the two leaders, and a small chill passed down his spine.
The booming voice of Brother Tucker, calling for silence, brought the spontaneous festivities to an abrupt cessation. All eyes turned to him.
“My fellow fans, I have to share with you a disturbing development, delivered to us through the good offices of Sister Speller, tidings that have the potential to undo all the centuries of progress the Church has made. For the first time since the Collapse, a rival organization has arisen, one which practices all the old ways that led in fact to the fall of civilization. Opposed to the inclusivity of the Church, they offer a kind of elite and exclusive membership in their own club, attained through much testing and trials, whilst looking down upon and casting out all those they deem inferior. They call themselves ‘The Gatekeepers,’ and they have already made disturbingly large inroads into our congregations, seducing our members with their poisonous philosophy. I fear we are all going to have to gird our loins and sharpen our wits for a battle we did not anticipate, but which we must win, if the world is going to continue to improve. As Saint Gerrim reminds us, ‘When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die.'”
A rousing militant cheer went up from Sisters and Brothers alike. But on this bright day in this peaceful enclave, doom and troubles seemed far away, and so celebrations quickly resumed.
But even as Brother Moskowitz found himself snuggling drunkenly in the hot afternoon with a winsome dark-haired Sister named Winehouse, he could not put aside a premonition that he hoped would prove false.
It felt as if winter were coming.
ANNOTATIONS FOR “A CANTICLE FOR ACKERMAN”
by
Paul Di Filippo
- The title iself is our first reference to Saint Ackerman,
who is Forrest J. Ackerman, legendary fan.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forrest_J_Ackerman
- “Brother Moskowitz” is a reference to Sam Moskowitz.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Moskowitz
- “Saint Gerrim” is a reference to GRRM, or George R. R. Martin.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_R._R._Martin
- “Saint T’lore” is Saint Taylor Swift.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taylor_Swift
- “Kirken’s Pock” is Kirk and Spock.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Trek:_The_Original_Series
- “THE WORST EPISODE EVER” is of course one of the favorite putdowns of Comic Book Guy on The Simpsons.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comic_Book_Guy
- “Beansay” is Beyonce.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beyonc%C3%A9
- “B’lon Five” is Babylon 5.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babylon_5
- “Kaypoppers” refers to the Korean music form known as K-pop.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K-pop
- “Dedders” are Deadheads.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deadhead
- “Mc’Uer” refers to the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marvel_Cinematic_Universe
- “Lukenleah”refers to Star Wars.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars
- “Wall Terwite” refers to Walter White of Breaking Bad.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breaking_Bad
- “Batch Loretta” refers to The Bachelorette.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bachelorette_(American_TV_series)
- “Dolly Parts” refers to Dolly Parton.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolly_Parton
- “Dizzy Knees” refers to Walt Disney and all associated creations.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walt_Disney
- “the letter ‘E’ repeated four times” refers to Ackerman’s nickname “4E.”
- “Sister Trimble” is Bjo Trimble.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bjo_Trimble
- “Sister Morojo” is Myrtle Douglas.
https://fancyclopedia.org/Morojo
- “Sister Tiptree” is James Tiptree.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Tiptree_Jr.
A Brief History of Science Fiction Fandom
1926 – 1929 Although many interested in this type of literature began collecting and identifying works that fit the mold (like Gernsback himself), it was not until the magazines Amazing Stories, and a couple of years later, Science Wonder Stories, began publishing the addresses of contributors to the letter columns of both magazines that individuals began contacting others, both locally, and nationally, throughout this period.
1929 – 1936 Correspondence between fans eventually led to the formation of clubs. At first, these were primarily amateur science clubs, though they met with wider appeal when their focus changed to the “literature of ideas” – science fiction. The Scienceers, recognized as the first true Science Fiction Club, would form in December of 1929 in a Harlem apartment in Manhattan.
1936 – 1939 Numerous other clubs form, notably in Los Angeles, Chicago, Philadelphia. Fanzines* were produced (the first, arguably The Comet, edited by Raymond A. Palmer – who would eventually edit Amazing Stories – with contributions from future luminaries, including Forest J. Ackerman and Raymond Bradbury). The idea for a national convention is born, primarily advanced by two rival fan clubs in the New York region – The Futurians, whose members included Frederik Pohl, Isaac Asimov, Damon Knight and Donald A. Wollheim, and New Fandom, founded by Samuel A, Moskowitz and William Sykora. Plans eventually led to the first World Science Fiction Convention, NyCon 1, held in Manhattan, between July 2nd and 4th. (The first convention displayed all aspects of Fandom, including its often contentious nature.)
*Fanzines are closely tied to APAs – Amateur Press Associations, the first of which (NAPA) was created in 1876 by amateur publishers in the Philadelphia region. This involves the practice of bundling individually produced amateur magazines, and sending copies to a central location where they are bundled together and then redistributed to the members. The first known fan-related APA was the Fantasy Amateur Press Association (FAPA), established by Donald Wollheim and John Michel, in 1937. APAs have been nicknamed “Where old fans go to die.”
Forest Ackerman notably attended from California and wore what is considered to be the first cosplay, featuring designs based on the movie Things To Come, designed and created by Morojo (Myrtle Douglas), and referenced by Ackerman as “Futuricostumes”.
This is a very brief overview of the formative years of Science Fiction Fandom, which has continued to host World Science Fiction Conventions up to the present. For far more detail, please visit Fanac.org, Fancyclopedia or other online resources.
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