Godzilla VS Kong: Review

Godzilla VS Kong: A hot mess not worth a nickel.

It is only out of some twisted sense of professional obligation that I watched this movie all the way to its conclusion.

I could have stopped watching after the first 30 minutes and not missed anything worth watching.

Common expressions for films of the same ilk are “hot mess”, “confused”, “plot less”…this film does not even rise to the level of “stupid fun”.

I know there are a lot of Kong and Godzilla fans out there – I like watching cities getting stomped by over-sized apes and lizards just as much as the next fan, but this,  just NO.

I’ll not list the detail of everything that was wrong or bothered me about this film.  An index to its problems would tale longer than the running time to type.

I will, however, try to offer a metaphor.

This film is what you’d get if two six year olds with giant mecha toys were given a nearly unlimited budget for their backyard play – giant lego buildings, firecrackers for ‘splosions and a toy chest full of other creature toys.  If you recorded the narrative of their play and then turned it into a script, written by two other six year olds who didn’t like the narrative, you might come close to what was put up on the screen.

Two thumbs and two big toes down.

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