A few years ago I adopted a new rating system for my film reviews: the metric was “How Many Times Steve Fell Asleep While Watching This So-Called Bit of Entertainment”.
I’m also a reviewer who is not afraid to admit that I got it wrong during a review. For example, the first Wonder Woman flick was a three-snorer plus a walk-out the first time I saw it. (I couldn’t stay awake and my snoring was disturbing the other patrons.) Nevertheless, I wrote some critical things about it that were sufficiently accurate that people who really liked the movie got pretty upset (it’s one thing to disagree with a critic, an entirely different thing to disagree while knowing that the critic is right) so I went back and watched it during the afternoon (not a day before official release midnight special), managed to stray awake throughout the entire film (barely, there are still a few slow moments in there) and decided that while there were some issues to be had with the movie, it did represent satisfactory proof that a female super hero centered film could capture audiences and be every bit as exciting and eventful as those films where guys wearing speedos fly around and punch things.
Likewise, I relented on my initial take on the Walking Dead (which has not done me the return kindness of remaining relevant for ten/eleven seasons) which I initially dismissed as a bad re-hash of every prior zombie flick with the exception of White Zombie.
I mistook rip-off for homage, and said so at the time.
But I’m now faced with a new dilemma, that of having watched several films/tv shows in the genre wheelhouse and, while I can remember the titles – and even some emotions attached to those titles, I find that I can remember little, if any detail, other than the concluding thoughts that ranged from “yes, it was as bad as I expected it to be” to “well, I’ll never get those minutes back”, and all in between (an admittedly narrow range).
The films and television shows on this list (is there enough to distinguish them these days that we still need to distinguish?) are:
The Matrix Re-something
Ghost Busters Afterlife
The Expanse (Final Season)
all of which I will quickly dispense with the following mini-reviews:
Finch – technologically and psychologically stoopid
Matrix– what a great set-up for being able to do this same film over and over and over ad infinitum: but THAT simulation was just one layer of simulations….
Being the Ricardos – I lost interest before Star Trek was ever mentioned. (Was Star Trek ever mentioned?)
Ghost Busters Afterlife– yes, it was nice the way they worked Harold Ramis in, then it got to be a bit much, then it was too much and then “oh, come on, yeah, we get it. What about all of the other people who have died since the making of Ghost Busters II? Don’t any of them count? And – sorry guys but “Muncher” doesn’t hold a candle to Slimer.”
Foundation – Yep, they fucked it up just like we all expected them to (and “fucked” IS the absolutely most appropriate word. Asimov stories are now 2 and 0 in the suckage department (though none of that is Ike’s fault. Maybe payback for his bottom-pinching excesses, but not his fault).
The Expanse – Final Season. I bounced off this show all THREE times I tried to engage (All I kept seeing and hearing was a bad attempt at re-creating the witty repartee and characterizations of Firefly with the Rocinante crew, which ship’s name kept on reminding me of Alexis Gilliland’s wonderful trilogy The Pirates of Rosinante (which I half suspect was an inspiration for the original novels), so I’m glad it is over bebcause now I no longer have to endure being castigated for not liking this generation’s version of lost in space….
speaking of which,
Lost in Space, season 3. I’ll put it this way: the new version of the theme song bothers me so much that after I’ve watched episodes of the new show, I have to go over to Youtube and play a clip of the original theme song to wash the taste out of my mind.
Have I seen anything good?
Well, I did re-watch Dr. Strangelove, Forbidden Planet and even This Island Earth….
(Lost In Space Theme – starts at 2:48