According to communications received from Universe Package Service, 500 copies of A Doctor For the Enterprise will be delivered to David Gerrold today.
Yes, it’s true. Somewhere in sunny California, a delivery driver – probably some former hippy dippy – is unwittingly loading a PACKAGE OF PROFOUND IMPORTANCE onto a delivery van.
Of course, if the inimical forces of the universe (Eddorians? Arisians?) play their typical games, that van has a broken fuel meter. This will of course result in our erstwhile former hippy driver running out of gas midway through the delivery run. Fortunately, the van will put-put to a stop right next to a Bean Curd & Alfalfa Sprout eatery, owned by one Miles Monroe (who will later become the unwilling subject of an accidental experiment in suspended animation; he will later go on to become a leader of the rebellion that will overthrow the dictatorship of THE LEADER…but that’s a whole different movie) and, being a vegan tree hugger, our delivery driver will decide to take his lunch break a bit early.
Meanwhile…
Unbeknownst to most, fracking has been underway for quite some time in California and hydraulic forces have been undermining the substrata for some time – and for our purposes conveniently mixing with the tar sands beneath the La Brea tar pits. The resulting mix has been eroding the ground beneath the street upon which our delivery van rests.
It will of course break through to the surface. Today. Right beneath the delivery van, while lazy hippy delivery drivers eat tofu and yogurt.
The van will be swallowed up, it’s rear doors coming to rest just below the surface – making recovery of the van’s contents just barely possible – except of course for our package that was oh so conveniently loaded in first thing in the morning and so is, of course, right up towards the front of the van…the part that got buried in super heated tar.
Meanwhile, over at Universe Package Services HQ (secretly located somewhere, probably in Arkansas) and in an uncontrollable fit of Terry Gilliam homage, a fly finds its way inside a server. Where it alights on a circuit board, it’s legs completing an unintended circuit. In a split nanosecond, the purchase of insurance for a certain package slowly dissolving in a froth of hot tar and water that is rapidly filling up the cargo compartment of a certain van formerly parked next to a vegan eatery…is wiped out. Never to be heard from again….
For a more succinct explanation, boot up Jurassic Park and pay close attention to the explanation of Chaos Theory….
You can follow the comic’s progress towards delivery to the fine, wonderful and obviously uber-intelligent reservists who reserved a copy on our handy dandy Comic Watch map.
